“What’s Your HIV Status?” How Soon Can You Ask The Tough Question?

You know how we always say we Society people lack phone ethics? Phones ringing during important meetings; you go to the bank and you can hear the person on the phone yelling and you can basically tell their entire life history from their phone conversation. Anyway, one of such people strolled into my friend’s shop in Akoka. Now, because she was prattling on, on the phone, we couldn’t find out what she really wanted to buy so we all just generally went about our businesses. Her voice was really loud and she was talking so animatedly that there was no way of missing the “gist”. Special shout out to the random babe who walked into Modupe’s shop last Saturday… for without you, we’d have no HOT TOPIC today.

Without further ado, let me relay the gist to you guys. So Miss Random Babe was telling her friend on the phone of how she asked her boyfriend or lover (as the matter be aproko matter na! I no fit seek clarification so make una no vex!) Anyway, she apparently had asked her boyfriend when last he got tested for HIV and dude basically flipped. So Miss RB was asking her friend if what she did was bad? Was it wrong for her to have asked him for his status? At some point in the conversation she asked if it was too early in the relationship but she further re-iterated that it didn’t matter since they were already having sex.

I brought the matter to the BN Team on Monday and as we were talking about it someone said “well, you’d know eventually now just before you get married as some churches make it a standard requirement”. Someone said “You have to ask as soon as you decide to start kicking it with anybody then it’s your responsibility to ask what the person’s status is”

I was quietly soaking up this debate and then I told everyone I was gonna write about it on Thursday. I was gently reminded of some readers who might feel we’re implicitly giving a stamp to “pre-marital sex”. However, I’m of the opinion that one should not live in a bubble. These things are happening around us every where and not talking about it is tantamount to burying our head in the sand.

So what do you guys think? When should you ask your partner for her/his HIV status? how soon into the relationship should you ask? Let’s broaden the scope a little more. How soon can you discuss some pertinent issues? Especially medical history, because these things find a way of cropping up at the oddest of times. Do you think the issue is something that shouldn’t be broached unless you offer the information?

Let’s discuss!
*bellanaija